hello. my name is cy

All of us make mistakes. I accept it as part of my past and have learned from it. I regret it wholeheartedly, more so because I hurt someone in the process.

I am human, I am not a saint. I made mistakes, and I accept the challenge of moving forward and being stronger.

you know me most of all.

An Irreplaceable Core

An irreplaceable core, that is how you are in my life. Without you, I lose my balance. You make my life so worthwhile that after all these years, your mere presence make my heart race.

You once said that you want us to be friends for a long time, even after all this. I guess you will always remain an enigma to me, even at our most intimate. You are forever my only love, my most cherished unrequited love and I will hold on to it as long as you would allow me.

Sometimes I wish that you would love me the same way. But then I would feel guilty of how selfish it is that I would expect reciprocation, because you’re the only one who can love me differently, in unexpected ways, in virtues that feed my soul.

You make me so proud of being your friend. Thank you for being patient with me, for being a constant light and inspiration. You have this gift of understanding and seeing things beyond spoken words. Thank you for your genuine concern for me and for the people I love. Thank you for making me feel less lonely, and making me believe that I can be a better person despite the odds.

Most of all, I wish you happiness that you deserve. Should you find that happiness and completeness with someone else other than me—-someone who will make you feel loved, and will make you look forward to blessed days, someone who will be there for you in good times and bad. That is more than enough for me.

I was never good in telling this to you in person. But this is how it is, this is how I feel, in writing. I’ll always be here for you. As a brother, as a confidante, as a friend.

All my love, always.

- C